Thursday, January 31, 2008

Official "Quiet, Please" Cover

Quiet, Please is being sent off to the press to be printed, and an official cover is now available's a much younger look than the original. It was designed by Alex Camlin whose other designs can be seen here:

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I've Been Bootlegged! Sort of...

When I hear about musicians having their albums on the Internet months before the release date, I get a bit jealous. I have waited for the day when I too will have something leaked long before the release date. Now it's happened! The proof copy of my book is currently being sold online at an East Coast bookstore.

This copy is full of errors and typos and a bit different from the one bookstores will sale in April, but if your a collector of uncorrected things then this copy is for you. And best of all, I get absolutely no royalties off the sale! So if you want to buy the book, but hate the idea that some poor author is going to make a few cents off the purchase of the book, then rest assured, I won't!

If you are interested, then go here:

I don't know how many copies they have, but I'm guessing only act now, take pictures of every single page, and upload it onto bittorrent so other people can have the pleasure of reading it with the comfort of knowing I will make nothing!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Contest Announcement Soon

I am putting the finishing touches on a "Quiet, Please" book give away contest...and by putting the finishing touches on the contest I mean I haven't even started and am open for suggestions about what kind of contest I should have. So if you have one, then send them to me by commenting below or just a simple email to

Either way the contest will begin in March with the first book will be given away at the end of March with another book given away in the forthcoming weeks to follow.

Stayed tuned...

John J. Beckley

Poor 'ol J.J. Beckley seems to be getting hardly any votes on the librarian superhero survey :-(

Maybe it's just a simple matter of no one knowing who he is...or maybe it's just a matter of them not caring who he is. Either way, here's a link to his wiki page:

And while you are on his wiki page, feel free to add a comment or two on his page that may or may not be true. Apparently simply being the first librarian of LOC isn't good enough, so maybe we need to sex him up a bit? Talk about the famous duel between Beckley and Dewey, talk about how he was accused of raping horses, or talk about the new Dan Brown novel that shows the questionable secret side of his life.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Who Should You Vote For?

Having trouble figuring out how Edwards, McClain, Clinton, etc. differ? Just don't feel like going through the issues to decide whose the right guy (or woman) for you? Now you don't have to! Follow the link below, answer a few questions about certain issues, and the computer will tell you which person is right for you.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

New Stuff On the Door Magazine

There's a new humor article on The Door that I wrote (no my name is not really Scott Douglas...Douglas is just my middle name and it's easier to pronounce).

Hardcore Baptist Pick-up Lines
Baby, you’re like a burning bush. I feel like Moses, all I want is a glimpse of the Promised Land.

You look like the whore of Babylon—and I mean that in a good way.

I would walk through the valley of the shadow of death if I thought my rod or staff could comfort you.

You look like Ruth from the Bible. She was a Christian—at least she would have been if she was born a few hundred years later. Are you a Christian? Because I only court Christians, and I’m very interested in courting you if your father says it’s okay.

Everything you say is moving my heart and I don’t think it’s just because you’re speaking in tongues. Is there an ancient language called Babe?

I used to believe only faith could make a sick person well until I saw you, because, baby, you just healed something deep inside me that I'd never let Benny Hinn touch.

Baby, the rapture's coming soon-let’s hold each other tight before the non-Christians wage war and kill us all.

I’m sure glad your mama was pro-life.

Let’s go back to my place—I've got the complete VeggieTales.

Bathsheba was naked before David, and that worked out in a totally Biblical way. I'm sure you'll be way more awesome than she was.

Hey, babe, if you were the mission, then I'd be a missionary.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Even Celebs Get the Jury Duty Blues

I have been called for jury duty nearly 10 times. Needless to say I hate jury duty, so I felt good when I read this short bit on Steve Carell...


TMZ was in the courtroom when Steve Carell was picked for jury duty. Do you think his "Office" will pay him for that??He's been selected to serve on the jury in a civil case over some type of employment dispute. Both sides are Korean and non-English speaking, and we're told a translator will be present for the duration of the trial. As a juror, he'll be paid $15.00 a day -- that's at least something during the strike! "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" is due back in court tomorrow at 9:00 AM PT.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Results Are In...

To those who participated in the inconclusive survey on the side of this Blog during the past few weeks, much was revealed about our reading habits. Thanks to those who played sure and do the new survey now posted!

Here are the findings:
62% (82 People) will read 20+ books in 2008
11% (15 People) will read 10-15 books in 2008
7% (10 People) will read 5-10 books in 2008
10% (13 People) will read 1-5 books in 2008
7% (10 People) cannot read

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


I saw two cars fight for a close spot in front of the gym the other night. It didn't make sense...your at a gym, so why are you fighting for the close spot? Shouldn't you be happy with taking the last spot? That way you get a bit of a warm up before you go in? Isn't the last spot the one people at the gym should be fighting over? Americans fetish with gyms has gotten a little too far; it's so bad that we don't even like to walk unless it's on some machine that will somehow enhance our workout.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Quiet, Please - An Update

It's been a few weeks since I gave a full update about my book, which everyone should know by now I hate to shamelessly promote (and by shamelessly I mean, pre-order on now! I have a wedding to pay for! (and if your sick of me saying that, I don't care)) so I will use this space now to do so.

I have finished proofing my proof copy, and have recieved my advance readers copy (note to reader: the proof copy is my last chance to change things in the book (although nothing major) and the advance readers copy is a bound, uncorrected, copy of the book that is sent to print and media publications). I very happy and excited about the finished product.

My goal from the beginning was to write a book that was different; not just in content but in style. I wanted to have commercial breaks, I wanted to have footnotes and lots of them, I wanted long chapter titles, and, perhaps most pointlessly, I wanted an intermission. In short, I wanted the reader to open this book and know that they were getting into something unusual. I wanted the book to read like a library--information and facts coming from all corners.

This book isn't just about my life; it's about the life of the library. When I open the the advance copy of the book, a part of it looked like a library. Needless to say I'm very thrilled with it, and hope I can have more up soon--like cover art and a sample chapter or two.

Monday, January 21, 2008

iTunes University

I'm a sucker for all things free, which is why I'm a sucker for a somewhat new feature in the iTunes store. It's called iTunes U and it allows you to download lectures from teachers and famous university. There's even a lecture on humor writing by Jonathan Franzen (I thought he wrote elitist, anti-Oprah, defunctional family, fiction! I didn't know he wrote humor!). It's new, it's free, and you might just learn something, so check it out.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Quiet, Please: Advance Review Copies

To all those who review books professionally, or, I suppose unprofessionally, you can now make request to review "Quiet, Please: Dispatches from a Public Librarian" by following the link:

If you simply want to review the book before deciding to purchase it for your library you can also make a request, but I'm not sure if they'll honor it...doesn't hurt to ask though.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Google's Giving Tree

Coming soon to a Google beta near you: "Charity - Beta." Google has announced plans to give some of there millions of dollars away...1% to be exact. Want to get your hands on some of that?

Go to to find out more on the program, or read the article about their plans here:

Thursday, January 17, 2008

It's Not Just A Wii Anymore!

Why is the Nintendo Wii better then the PS3 and Xbox 360? Quite simply, it's not just for games. The video below shows you how you can use a Wii remote (no Wii required) and turn your laptop into a digital whiteboard! This would be a perfect low cost solution to libraries and schools offering computer workshops.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Quiet, Please - Cover

Amazon currently shows the cover below as the cover of my book ( From what I understand, the actual cover will look quite a bit different, and the guy with the suit will be replaced with a guy in jeans. I'll have a longer update on what's going on with the book soon...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Save the Date

Sorry all of you can't go, but I hope we do meet sometime.

For those of you who don't know my fiance, you will meet her more formally in the second to last chapter of my book.

Photo is by Amy Bach (

Monday, January 14, 2008

Solar Powered iPod?

How would you like your iPod to be solar powered? Read the article below about a solar powered MP3...if it succeeds the iPod is sure to follow.

Blu-Ray vs. it really a debate?

Last week was the big tech show in Vegas, and it seemed everyone was fired up to declare a victory in the Blu-Ray vs. HD-DVD war. I have neighter, but if I were a betting man I would put my money the Blu-Ray. The technology is just way too good to ignore.

But in the mist of the battle few have stopped to ponder a much more important question: do we need eighter? Realistically the early adopters to either of these machines are people who are likely also adopting iTV, media harddrives, and any number of other devices that play movies either off a harddrive or right from the Internet. Have we all but forgotten these devices are also a contendor? Because they are, and, in actuality, if I were putting money on anything it would be on these devices. I have a 320 gig harddrive that plugs right into my HDTV, and it works beautifully.

Let's face it, we are a minimalist world. We are willing to sacrifice the best for the smallest. Some people may boast about the collection of over a 1,000 DVDs, but most people, I think, would rather have the convience of having those DVDs organized on a harddrive where they didn't have to worry about clutter or spend five minutes looking for the disc they want.

The thing to remember, also, is it is not really a sacrifice to adopt to these devices. More and more vendors are letting the consumer get digital movies in HD. Even Netflix and most cable providors are beginning to role out programs that let you either download or stream movies in a matter of minutes. I never really got into music subscription programs like Napster, but offer that same service for movies, and they'll be on to something.

So while some may be keeping a close eye on the Blu-ray / HD-DVD war, I'm watching the war that is quietly waiting to be fought.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Stupid Questions People Ask

I'm tired of writing, and want some reader participation. Let's see if any of my readers are alive out there. What is the most ridiculous question you have ever been asked. I know I've said this on McSweeney's before, but my personal favorite is "What part of Germany does the Great Wall of China go through?"

Thursday, January 10, 2008

How Do You Like Your McCoffee

I was on the road a few years ago, and, though I swear I hardly do this now, I ventured into a McDonalds; I think it's just something you do when your on the road. The food is crap, but you can always count on it to taste like the same crap you've always had. Restaurants on the road are hit and miss, and I like the certainty of being always crappy that McDonalds offers--it's the one thing you can always count on them for. At this particular McDonalds they were testing something they called the McPizza. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know what it is. Needless to say I didn't order it, but it really made me wish that McDonalds would just stop trying things. They are a fast-food place for crappy hamburgers and stupid toys that your kids can't live without. They can't do healthy food and they certainly can't do pizza. Stop trying!
But they don't! If you haven't read about it, now McDonalds wants to be your neighborhood Star Bucks. I'm not a Star Bucks fan (I prefer to make my coffee), but if I was, then I definitely would stop if they started asking me if I wanted fry's with that espresso.

If McDonalds wants to serve coffee in the morning, fine! Some say McDonald's coffee is the best coffee they've ever tasted. I don't know about that. Coffee is coffee. It's not that hard to brew it in a pot. But now McDonald's wants to do one better; they want to start making the same fancy coffee with foam that Star Bucks banks its money on.

Personally, I think they're just mad because Star Bucks serving a sausage muffin that is much better then there's.

Read the whole story here:

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Predictions of 2008

Mark my words, the device known as chumby, will become as common in the house as the remote control; it's cute, trendy, and really cool! Check it out:

Apple is going to come out with a lightweight computer that everyone thinks is the coolest thing sense the last coolest thing from Apple; they haven't announced it yet, but everyone knows they will (if they don't announce it at the Mac Expo next week, they will in September in Paris). But if you really want a lightweight, travel companion check out the Asus. I gurantee you it's less than whatever Apple will charge (Amazon sells it for $350), and it runs Linux. Check it out:

Apple is going to continue to copy what other people already have did (they did it with the iPod, the iPhone, heck they even copy the idea of a graphical user interface from Xerox way back in the day...nothing they do is orignal). I expect an iPod Touch that is borderline PDA--complete with a eBook reader that competes with Amazon Kindle (they have silently wanted to get into that game ever sense Amazon silently pissed them off by offering an MP3 solution that was better than iTunes). As already mentioned, they'll have a lightweight notebook. An iPod touch with a larger capacity is a given, but I also suspect they'll try and reinvent the iPod classic (perhaps with built in wi-fi).

Google will unleash a phone that makes everyone forget about the iPhone. And than they'll develop something that I wish I would have thought of that will send their stock soaring above $1,000.

Richard Yates
Richard Yates will be Hollywood's latest wonderboy thanks to a new movie based on Revolutionary Road that is due out next year. Several of his other books will be optioned, and Oprah will pick one of his lesser known books (Who am I kidding? All his books are lesser known) for her book club, which will make even more people interested in him. At some point people will realize that he's dead.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Favorite of Everything Else

Wii Zapper with Links Crossbow Training
I'm a sucker for the Wii. Twenty bucks for a game accesory and a game...gee I wonder why it's outselling xBox and PS3's!

Amazon Kindle
Let me explain something to you Amazon: you can't tell people this will do for books what the iPod did to music and then put a $399 price tag on it! It's a great concept, but people just don't read like they used to, so you can't expect them to fork out that kind of money. People just don't care about books that much! Sad, but true. Cut the price in half, add some more (like a full Internet browswer) and we'll be in business!

I'm not a fan of the iPhone. It's expensive and not that pretty. But I like it because it has touch! I like it because all the phone companies are going to start rolling out models real soon with the touch concept in mind.

The Year of GPS
GPS's have been around for years. This year, however, it seemed to be the year that price caught up wtih the consumer, and it became the 'it' present at Christmas. I got one last year, and don't leave home with out it. If you don't have one, get one, you will be amazed!

Monday, January 7, 2008

Amazon Update

If you want to know what my forthcoming book is about, but don't want to hear it from me, now has a product description!

Book Description
An unexpectedly raucous and illuminating memoir set in a Southern California public library.
For most of us, librarians are the quiet people behind the desk, who, apart from the occasional "shush," vanish into the background. But in Quiet, Please, McSweeney's contributor Scott Douglas puts the quirky caretakers of our literature front and center. With a keen eye for the absurd and a Kesey-esque cast of characters (witness the librarian who is sure Thomas Pynchon is Julia Roberts's latest flame), Douglas takes us where few readers have gone before. Punctuated by his own highly subjective research into library history--from Andrew Carnegie's Gilded Age to today's Afghanistan--Douglas gives us a surprising (and sometimes hilarious) look at the lives which make up the social institution that is his library.

About the Author
Scott Douglas is a librarian at the Anaheim Public Library, a job he has been chronicling for the McSweeney's Web site since 2003.


Best & Worst Concerts of 2007

Bob Dylan - Pacific Amphitheatre, Costa Mesa CA (July 26, 2007)
Seeing Bob Dylan perform isn't really a concert as much as it is an experience. I posted a short video would have been more, but security was cracking down on everyone trying to get a crappy video of the bard performing (I kid you not, they literally passed in front of people smoking pot, looked at the pot, and kept on walking to tell people to put their cameras away!). I've seen him play twice and both times have been amazing.

The Shins - Orpheum Theatre, Los Angeles CA (April 15, 2007)
I could brag for a day about how awesome the Orpheum Theatre is (FYI, it's an old vaudeville theatre that's been around since the hey days of Hollywood), but I won't. More often then not concerts seem to be a group of people singing, but not really caring about what they sing. The Shins appeared to actually want to be there performing.
Muse - The Forum, Inglewood CA (April 10, 2007)
I hadn't even heard about Muse until earlier last year when my fiance turned me on to them. There records are good, but you haven't seen anything until you see them live. I have never gone to a concert with so much energy and audience response.
Wolfmother - The Gove of Anaheim, Anaheim CA (May 9, 2007)
If you want to see a concert with awesome guitar solos, look no further then this band! Lyrically they are lousy, but man can they rock out!
The Arcade Fire - Greek Theatre, Los Angeles CA (May 29, 2007)
Nothing beats watching a great concert in the fresh open airs of Los Angeles, CA! This is another great band to check out live...if, for nothing else, to watch how they each change instruments throughout the concert.

Honorable Mentions
Mirah - Troubadour, West Hollywood CA (February 10, 2007)
Cold War Kids - Echoplex, Echo Park, Los Angeles CA (June 12, 2007)
Sonic Youth - Greek Theater, Los Angeles CA (July 20, 2007)
The Zombies - Grove of Anaheim, Anaheim CA (March 17, 2007)
Sunset Rubdown - Troubadour, Hollywood CA (April 24, 2007)

Dishonorable Mentions
Cold War Kids - Wiltern, Los Angeles CA (11/23/07). I think this is one of the best new bands out there, but let's face it...they absolutely sucked at this show! They appeared drunk at times, were not in sync with one another, seemed tired, and just did not seem like they wanted to be there.

Collective Soul - Grove of Anaheim, Anaheim, CA (October 15, 2007). I have been the biggest closet fan of Collective Soul since the 90s. When my job offered free tickets to see them, I couldn't pass it up. It's hard to complain when the tickets were free, but they were pretty sad. The leader singer was a pretty boy who had the biggest ego I have ever seen attached to the singer of a band that is not popular anymore. It's not that they were bad...they just weren't good.

Friday, January 4, 2008

This Is Why I Love My Job!

From: (via

Package Containing Porn, Pot Mistakenly Sent to Maysville Library

Police are looking into what appears to have been a wrong delivery to the library at the Technical and Community College in Maysville.

Workers opened the box to find a hardback book that wasn't theirs. When they opened the book they found pages had been cut out and there was marijuana, a porn DVD and a Playstation console inside.

Investigators believe someone meant to send the package to the jail. Apparently they got the wrong address.

So far investigators police have not been able to determine who sent it although they do know who was supposed to receive it.

Favorite Movies of the Year

There's no happy ending, there's no great plot, there's no spectacular dialog; and that's why it's such a beautiful and intimate feels like life. And the soundtrack is also awesome!

I'm Not There
I'm still trying to figure out what the heck this movie was about. I left the theater confused, and I'm still confused. But I still, strangely, enjoyed it. It's like a Dylan song. You can enjoy it on so many different levels. And like a Dylan song, if you look at it as a whole it may sound good, but it's still a puzzle waiting to be solved. I'll be solving this for quite some time.

Children of Men
How has Alvin and the freakin' Chipmunks made nearly 100 million dollars, and this movie only made 35? This movie was not only the one of the best of the year, it is one of the best movies of all time! Everything about it cried greatness...from the acting, to the cinemotraphy, to the camera angles. If all movies were this good, I might actually go to the theater more then once every three or four months and see them.

Bourne Ultimatum
Is it really over! Please tell me it's not so! There's so many more places to go.

Ladrón que roba a ladrón
All I knew about this movie going in was it had been called the Mexican Ocean's 11. If that doesn't sell you, then probably nothing else I say well. This movie had it all! Romance, charm, wit, mystery, suspense, and a crazy Mexican infomercial star!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Favorite Books of the Year

I Am Legend (Richard Matheson)
I'll admit I had never given this book much thought until I saw the trailer for the movie. It's a great quick read. I love how it begins in medias res, and then slowly, very slowly, tells the reader how the world came to be this way. I kept reading because I wanted to see what happened next, but also to see what happened fist.

Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality (Rob Bell)
It wasn't as good as Bell's first effort Velvit Elvis, but it is still a great read. I love Bell because he has a way of bringing me closer to God spiritually. Too often Christian books spend too much time talking about Jesus and the cross. Great things that I'm thankful for, but that doesn't really make me feel close to God (just loved by God). Bell is the Billy Graham of my generation, and I hope he can keep it up.

Restless Pilgrim: The Spiritual Jorney of Bob Dylan (Scott Marshall and Marcia Ford)
This book had one of the worse binding jobs I've ever seen (it literally was falling apart not even 100 pages into it, and I had a new copy). Binding aside, it was a fascinating read. The author presents the facts, and lets the reader believe what they want about that whole "Christian" thing.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (J.K. Rowling)
Rowlings has always hinted at the fact that Harry could very well die; when he lived I was sort of disapointed. Killing off someone like that takes guts. I think one reason I enjoyed the book so much was because someone put a bootleg copy of it on the Internet the week before (which I downloaded and partially read). How many other books are bootlegged on the Internet (hint: none).

Dwelling Places (Vinita Hampton Wright)
I've been reading Wright sense her first book, Grace at Bender Springs. She was good then, but she's great now. Her novels are great because the find such whose themes in such little things. It is rich in characters, lush in storytelling, and filled with words that sway poetically at times on the page.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Favorite TV Shows of the Year

The Office
I had my doubts when I heard they were bringing another BBC show to America (look what we did to couplings!), but this show keeps getting better with each season. I was a little disappointed when Jim and Pam got together, and thought it was the kiss of death, but, so far, it remains on top of its game.

Flight of the Conchords
I don't know why this show is so funny. It just is. It's like Spinal Tap meets Napoleon Dynamite each week, and comes out with some of the most pointless material ever put on TV! But it's still good!

I can't believe season two was the last one! Who ends a show this good this son? Oh wait, the same guy who ended the original BBC Office at its peak...Ricky Gervais. I thought season one was better, but this season two was still better then pretty much anything else on TV (which, sadly, isn't saying much)

30 Rock
I'll put anything that has an episode with Seinfeld in my top five.

The Soup
Forget David Spade and his sorry attempt to poke fun of celebrity news; nothing beats this show on E! If Jon Stewart did a show that did nothing put made fun of TV shows, then this is what it would look like!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Favorite Albums of the Year

There is no better way to start the new year then to think about what was good about last year. In no order here are my favorite albums of the year.

Neon Bible (Arcade Fire)
I liked this album a lot more before William Butler, the bassist, flirted with my fiance before a concert at the Greek.

Once Soundtrack
I knew nothing about the Frames when I saw once, so this was kind of like the surprise of the year for me. I haven't heard a performer with so much emotion in his voice in quite some time. When he signs about loving someone, I actually sort of believe him.

Because of the Times (Kings of Leon)
I saw these guys open for Dylan at the Forum, and I thought they sounded like crap; they played some stuff from this record that hadn't been released, and I wanted to vomit. What a year did for these guys, because when they finally did cut it on a record it sounded awesome! This is what good old fashion rock and roll should be!

Sing Song (Little Ones)
It's a 2006 disc, but it's new to me. I didn't expect much from this band when I saw them open for the Cold War Kids at a 826 benefit concert at Spaceland. I dare say they stole the show, and gave a performance that was incredible. This is a short disc; I can't wait to see what they do on a longer record.

Icky Thump (White Stripes)
I would have liked this CD a whole lot more if I had been given the chance to see them perform it live, but, alas, Meg had to be allegedly sick, and the tour was cancelled. Still this band and this record remain on my list if, for nothing else, the bagpipes on St. Andrew!