Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Here's an oldie I did a few years ago for The Door...
Originally published in the March/April 2006 (Issue #204) of The Wittenburg Door(http://archives.wittenburgdoor.com/archives/2033.html)
Twentieth anniversary of the birth of the first cloned apocalypse horse.
Oprah Winfrey, founder of the cultic religion, The Church of Oprah, dies; autopsy reveals she was really a white man.
U2's reunion concert for victims of Galactic war raises 10 trillion euros for orphan aliens.
Value of dollar purportedly inflated; 9 trillion dollars equals 1 euro.
Words are replaced by images. Expert linguist, Rick Warren, announces that God translated to image equals[?].
The last Bible is printed, which brings an end to book publication.
A mysterious illness sweeping the Third World provokes a worldwide call for help. Christians respond by raising $80 trillion to repurpose and distribute milllions of leftover DVD copies of the Jesus film.
Aliens on Jupiter declare Scientology the planet's national religion. An aging Tom Cruise decides to move to Jupiter with his child Ampersand; arrives just after the first Christian missionaries, who have infected the aliens with the common cold, and killed off the entire population. Tom Cruise is left stranded with no food, water or toothpaste.
Tenth anniversary of the day all of godly Christians mysteriously disappeared.
Tim LaHaye named the most influential person found in the Bible.
Goth rocker Marilyn Manson ends years of speculation, when he announces on his deathbed that he had, indeed, been a Christian all along, and that all the angel of death stuff had really been a failed evangelical attempt at reaching out to devil worshipers.
Cardinal Mel Gibson admits that spending all the money he made on The Passion of the Christ to remake Ben Hur in Latin with Chinese subtitles probably wasn't such a good idea after all.
Cardinal Mel Gibson becomes the first actor to become pope (not counting the 2016 election when everyone nominated Bill Cosby as a gag), and is immediately criticized for saying he might be wrong about something. Gibson chooses the holy name, Pope Pedro II.
After watching the live action Smurf movie, Pope Pedro II orders that the first order of holy business will be a holy war on the Smurf people. Vatican officials announce in a reported story that there will no longer be movie night for the new pope.
Because of a translation error in the New Deconstructed Living Bible, many pastors replaced communion bread with cheese.
The long-running TV show The Simpsons named by ChristianityTM (a parent of the Wal-Mart Corporation of China) as the greatest Christian show of the century. Fox announces it has renewed its contract with the show for nine more seasons.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
I was excited when I heard about the movie—Will Smith as an alcoholic superhero! How could you go wrong with that? The synopsis of the movie tells you everything that’s going to happen: PR guy helps superhero finds himself and become a better person. Predictable, yes; but predictability isn’t always a bad thing. It’s summer, it’s hot, and a nice predictable action movie isn’t such a bad way to escape the sun.
When I saw the bad reviews, I didn’t really care. I wasn’t racing to the theater or anything, but I knew I’d see it eventually. Eventually came this past weekend (yes, I'm a little late to the game, as the movie is a couple months old), and all I want is my two hours back.
The movie was pretty good the first half. Then it "Jumped the Shark;" usually that’s a term that’s reserved for TV shows. I think an exception needs to be made for this movie.
The moment it turned from good to just plain dumb was when Hancock attempted to kiss Jason Bateman’s wife; those who have seen the movie will know why. After this point the movie loses all predictability and is just weird—really, really weird. What was the writer thinking? It was like he said, "I don't want predictable--people like twist." Yes, people like twist; Batman had a nice twist, but it was a natural one; this one was forced down the throats of the audience, and it didn't even make sense.
What should have happened was this: Hancock is a drunk, PR guy is going to help him, Hancock is helped, Hancock has a crisis that makes him doubt everything (perhaps his love interest is kidnapped because of some error he makes), and something happens to make him resolve this crisis, all is well again. Predictable, but fun. There’s nothing wrong with that.
There have been Will Smith movies that have been just OK (pretty much every drama he does), but usually they are good (pretty much every action movie he does)--not super, but good enough to make me happy. This is the first time I ever left one of his movies angry. I think he needs to stop hanging out with Tom Cruise, or his career will be ruined. His next movie, Seven Pounds, sounds lame as well.
Maybe it's time for him to team up with Alfonso Ribeiro for a buddy-cop movie or a Fresh Prince reunion show where Will decides to run for C0ngress, and Carlton somehow gets addicted to heroin and Will has to put politics aside?
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
I'm not saying I'd be happy to have this book under the Christmas tree (I wouldn't), but the books synopsis says it's a prelude to Beloved, which makes it sound interesting. Maybe reading this book will help me understand what the heck that book was about, because between all the thick-love and weird imagery I didn't know what was going on.
Also, coming to bookstores "Where's Waldo? The Complete Collection" (October 14)
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Honestly, I caught most of the highlights from the convention on The Daily Show, but I did find it encouraging to see an evangelical at a Democratic Convention.
Miller gave an interview with Christianity Today before the prayer, where he said a lot of things more Christian's (and non-Christians for that matter) should be saying. Thanks to Travis for sharing that interview, which I have also put below:
Monday, September 1, 2008
Being a fan of war movies, I Netflix’d the older movie right away to see what it was all about. My first thought was why have so few people heard of this movie? It’s one of the best war movies I’ve ever seen. My second thought was he’s going gore it up and ruin a masterpiece.
Going back to my first thought, why have few people heard of this movie, I’m still baffled. One of my favorite war movies is The Battle of Blood Island; it’s campy, cheesy, and full of unknown actors (unless you count Roger Corman as a major actor (he didn't direct it...only acted)). I can understand why few people have heard of that. But this? I’m confused. It’s Italian and dubbed into English, but I don’t think that is enough to scare everyone off.
It has a similar premise as The Dirty Dozen. A bunch of American villains must fight off a bunch of Germans in a secret mission. But everything about it is grander and more epic—from the romance to the final action sequence, which involves a train.
If you’re planning on seeing the remake when it comes out in a year or two, I highly recommend seeing this one first.
I have enjoyed the recent string of war movies like Saving Private Ryan (although, I must admit I agree with Roland (from the book) who says the movie was too "too anti-German") and Flags of our Fathers, but if you want to see a real war movie you have to go back at least twenty years. Who knows what Tarantino will do with this, but one thing I’ve hated about recent war movies is they are too realistic. Yes they’re interesting and fun to watch, but they try to hard to educate and show what it must have been like (if I want that I'll watch a documentary, or, better yet, read a book). There was a time when a war movie was simply a movie with a good storyline that was meant to entertain; people died, but it wasn’t gory and it certainly wasn’t realistic--it was just fun, and I miss that. Directors decided sometime ago if you do a period piece it has to be accurate and full of drama.
If you haven’t seen this movie—if you haven’t even heard of it—do yourself a favor and rent it. You won’t be disappointed.
And if you feel like it, share your thoughts on the movie by commenting below...or share your thoughts on other great movies that no one has ever heard of.