There's a new humor article on The Door that I wrote (no my name is not really Scott Douglas...Douglas is just my middle name and it's easier to pronounce).
Hardcore Baptist Pick-up Lines
Baby, you’re like a burning bush. I feel like Moses, all I want is a glimpse of the Promised Land.
You look like the whore of Babylon—and I mean that in a good way.
I would walk through the valley of the shadow of death if I thought my rod or staff could comfort you.
You look like Ruth from the Bible. She was a Christian—at least she would have been if she was born a few hundred years later. Are you a Christian? Because I only court Christians, and I’m very interested in courting you if your father says it’s okay.
Everything you say is moving my heart and I don’t think it’s just because you’re speaking in tongues. Is there an ancient language called Babe?
I used to believe only faith could make a sick person well until I saw you, because, baby, you just healed something deep inside me that I'd never let Benny Hinn touch.
Baby, the rapture's coming soon-let’s hold each other tight before the non-Christians wage war and kill us all.
I’m sure glad your mama was pro-life.
Let’s go back to my place—I've got the complete VeggieTales.
Bathsheba was naked before David, and that worked out in a totally Biblical way. I'm sure you'll be way more awesome than she was.
Hey, babe, if you were the mission, then I'd be a missionary.