Saturday, December 20, 2008

Weekend Funnies


Anonymous said...

Mr. Douglas,
Your book was on the "new books" shelf at my local library. During my twice weekly visits to the library, I always check out this shelf but when I really think about it, what difference does it make? If a haven't read the book before, aren't all books new to me?
The library is my favorite place on earth. When I find myself challenged to inspire kids as an annual career day guest, I always pull out my wallet and ask, "What is the most important card in my wallet?" Like a magician pulling cards from a sleeve, I pluck a card from my wallet and the kids scream out: "Your driver's license!" "Your Blue Cross card !" "Your MasterCard!" Finally I pull out my library card and announce that it is indeed this very card that has been my passport to an enriched life. This statement is usually met with glazed eyes of incomprehension or eye rolling at being duped by the question.
But that's not the reason I'm writing. I'm writing to tell you that you should put a warning sticker on your book. It is not to be read in the library. THe reader will be expelled for uncontrollable explosive laughter that will greatly disturb library staff and patrons. One's cheeks will be abraded by the constant wiping away of laugh-tears with the heels of the palm of one's hand.
Each time my eyes cleared from such tearing I would flip to your picture on the dust jacket. I thought you looked grim like a serial killer from some sunless European country.
Maybe because the book has made you rich and famous you no longer have to worry about transforming yourself into a magnet for suitable ladies. However, if that is not the case, please consider contact lenses, a shave and a self-tanning lotion. Just a thought.
Thanks for the yucks.

Scott Douglas said...

Thanks...that's very kind.