Jesus Schedules December Vacation

Sometimes a headline is enough to tell an entire story. Such was the case with this headline in the Wittenburg Door Magazine: "Jesus Schedules December Vacation, Will Miss His Birthday‏"

And All of Geekdom Rejoiced

Peter Jackson, who had previously backed out of directing any LOTR prequels because of a lawsuit with New Line, appears to have forgiven all, and now has agreed to produce it. I'm crossing my fingers that he signs on to direct as well. Read the full story here: http://www.theonering.net/torwp/2007/12/18/28150-peter-jackson-and-new-line-cinema-join-with-mgm-to-produce-%e2%80%9cthe-hobbit%e2%80%9d/

I Dreamt of David Foster Wallace

I had a dream about David Foster Wallace that was borderline erotic, and I'm not sure what to make of it.


In this dream I was at a party; one of those Gatsby type party's where people stand around drinking cocktails and trying to be social. From the corner of my walks David Foster Wallace. He's not dressed nice like everyone else; he looks right out of a book jacket photo. I walk up to Wallace and say, "Hey, aren't you David Foster Wallace?"


He grins and can apparently tell I'm a pretty big fan. This is where the dream gets weird. He says, "So you wanna hug."


I'm a bit taken a back by the suggestion, but tell myself, If David Foster Wallace wants to hug it up, then we will hug it up. So we embrace, and Wallace reaches behind and takes a squeeze at my rear.


How does one interpret a dream like this? I've spent some time think it over. It wasn't a sexual squeeze of the butt--it was more the excentric squeeze. And I'm quite certain Wallace wasn't gay in the dream, and I didn't get any pleasure from the squeeze (aside from the pride of being able to tell people that David Foster Wallace gave my hind a squeeze), so I'm certain I wasn't gay either. Plus my fiance was in the dream, and I was very happy when I was around her.


The weird thing about the dream was I haven't read or even thought about Wallace in quite sometime...how does he suddenly appear in my dream? And for the love of all things blue, what the heck was he doing grabbing by cheeks?

Is It Really a Surprise?

Baseball players do drugs...that's the big story this past week. I read a few of the stories surrounding the investigation and was left wondering, who cares? They haven't been my hereos for quite sometime.

Growing up in Anaheim, I used to go quite frequently to Angel stadium when all the big teams came into town. I looked up to the players as a teen, and would eagerly wait for the stars to arrive for practice to get their autographs. They were my hereos. Until they spoke.

There were a few nice players of course; Nolan Ryan and Cal Ripken, Jr. were all class; as was Kevin Mitchell, which is odd considering his frequent trouble with the law. But for every Ryan or Ripken there were 100 bad apples.

Some of my favorite moments? Frank Thomas (playing at the time for the White Sox's) yelling at a kid for daring to ask him for an autograph (this, sadly, wasn't actually polite compared to some of the other White Sox's...one of the players actually shoved a little kid when he ran up to him with a pen and baseball card!)

Ken Griffey, Jr. (playing at the time for Seattle) I notably remember because he locked himself in the car while Kevin Mitchell (his driver that evening) signed autographs. I remember a little kid tapping on the car, and Griffey looking up at the little fan, then simply looking at the floor of the car and pretended not to notice. Mitchel ended up signing autographs for about 20 minutes, while Griffey stayed in the car just starring at the floor.

I saw Wally Joyner when he was both a Royal and an Angel; his obnoxious behavior changed little with each team. I liked him better as a Royal, however, because he was booed as he went to the bus.

Tommy Lasorda was polite depending on how well the team did that night. He'd always sign autographs and try to be professional, but some nights he was a complete jerk about it. For the most part he was just a grouchy old man. The worse I saw him was at a public signing where he was signing autographs in support of some new food he was endorsing.

Finally, there's Darryl Strawberry; I saw him run from autograph seekers just so he didn't have to deal with them. I stayed late one night after a Dodger game hanging out with a bunch of friends in the parking lot; in retrospect I'm pretty sure he was smoking pot, but I was too young to know what that was then; it was the most relaxed I had ever seen him, and the only time I got his autograph.

Seeing so many bad sports in the game, it became harder and harder to support them; so eventually I just stopped. I still catch the occasional baseball game if the tickets are free or cheap, but it's just not the same anymore. The magics gone when you see them up close.

Stick With Your Day Job

Who pays fifty plus dollars to go see a writer? Me for one (FYI, that's $50 for two tickets). That's how much I paid to see David Sedaris in Riverside this summer. And I hear that's the going rate to see him in 2008 when he makes a few stops in support of his forthcoming book Indefinite Leave to Remain (Little, Brown and Company - June 2008)

It seems like a growing trend for writers who are able to become famous in their careers...and why not? Musicians charge money to see them play a CD they want you to buy, so why should writers charge people to hear them read from a book they want you to buy? But here's the difference, and it's a big difference, if they charge big money then they should, at the very least, be good at performing.

In the case of Sedaris it was worth it; if nothing else I talked him before the reading for a good ten minutes, which was worth the price of ticket alone. But how many writers are like that?

Below is my incomplete list of writers I would pay $25 bucks to see:

1. Sarah Vowell
2. Dave Eggers
3. Thomas Pynchon
4. David Foster Wallace

Things That Pop Into My Head While Bored At the Reference Desk

Why doesn't everyone wear their socks inside out?

How did I end up here?

Does Apple really not have the capability to create a iPod Touch with bigger storage? Or perhaps it's just all part of there marketing plan? Get them to buy this, then the bigger one comes out in six months. I'm sorry, Apple, but you are not the anti-corporate enviorment you try to make us believe. You are no better the Microsoft. And at least Bill Gates gives money to charity...what have you been doing with yours, Steve?

Is Warren Buffets kids not at all upset that he didn't leave them any money?

Why don't they just call it a computer center? And if people want books they can go to the bookstore. People who read statistically have more money then people who sit on their butts all day playing computer poker, and checking out the personal ads on Craigslist.

Does anyone who wears a tennis shoe play tennis? Everyone who walked into today wearing them does not look like the tennis-type.

I think I'd rather have a jury by professional jury person (someone who gets paid to sit on a case (like a career)), and not a jury by peers.

Were any of the Golden Girls fetching in their younger days?

I think that movie The Holiday is making Americans try and be British and say, "I'm going to have holiday at my boyfriends home." It just sounds stupid when some American chap says it.

Why does it always sound dirtier when a British person talks about sex?

I don't really miss TV now that it's on strike.

How the heck is J.D. Salinger still alive? Has anyone check in on his home lately?

Who will be the next American to win the Nobel Prize for Literature? I'm guessing DeLillo, but I'm hoping it's Pynchon.

Kansas City Public Library

About once a year a new library is built, and every other librarian stares with envious eyes, because they wished they could get that kind of money. The glam library this year, in my opinion, is the Kansas City Public Library. I don't know when it opened, but I think it was recent. It seems to be a cross between a library, a museum, and a hotel. And it has a cafe, which I think is a must in new libraries. I know there are many who disagree, but it seems to be what people want.


Below are a few pictures. Visit the libraries homepage for an expanded view of the new library (http://www.kclibrary.org/)