Prepared to Be Annoyed and Possibly Humored

I am sick and tired of receiving Facebook tags about doing the list of 25 interesting things/facts/etc about me; my wife tagged me and said it was rude that I had not did the list, and, as is always the case, I decided to do as she said out of both fear and love.

Instead of posting this on Facebook and further annoying 25 more people with tags, I decided to just tag everyone who reads this blog—the potential for annoyance is much greater this way. So tag! Below are my 25 Things random things about me list, now you have to comment below what your list. If you don’t a butterfly will die.

I was a "No Nude" in junior high and high school; I used a medical excuse to get out of showering in gym.

I am a sucker for conspiracy theories.

I sometimes wait for my wife to go to school, and then turn on Tyra Banks and eat ice cream while yelling at abusive cheating husbands and boyfriends afraid of commitment.

Until I was 13, I believed I was the only person in the world who knew how many licks it took to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop.

I poked my eye at the end of classroom showing of Old Yeller in fifth grade, so girls would think I was sensitive.

I have never drank any alcohol (or eaten food prepared with rum or cooking wine), although once when I was twelve I sipped wine at a wedding and promptly spit it out.

For a period of about two years, I believed if I drank alcohol or cut my hair I would lose my secret powers.

I have no secret powers.

I take advantage of drunk friends.

I like to cheat on video games.

In the hospital, under heavy medication, I watched Gilligan's Island because I believed Gilligan was my supreme leader.

I wrote a fiction novel about American terrorist when I was 12.

The first story I wrote was when I was 11--it was about a woman who accidentally chopped off her hand while cutting vegetables in the kitchen, and the hand came back to life to kill her. I presented the story to my mom as a gift.

I like to garden.

When I was 8, my best friend and I would sneak into his sister’s room and undress her Barbie’s clothes so we knew what naked girls looked like.

If I could visit any place in the world, it would be India.

I wrote over 500 pages of fiction my junior and senior year of high school.

In junior high, I begged my parents for $120 shoes because I sincerely believed I would become a NBA star the second I put them on.

I have thousands of Desert Storm trading cards somewhere in my parent’s attic.

I have Steve Urkel's autograph.

I once sent in a video to America's Funniest Home Videos that showed off my imitations of Steve Urkel.

I saw a woman dead in the street, seconds after she had been hit by a car.

I rubbed my hand against my deceased great grandma's cheek partly to see what a dead person felt like.

The first cassette I remember buying was the soundtrack to the motion picture "Willow."

I am uncomfortable being naked in front of my dog and/or fish.