Seven Pounds of Spoilers (SPOILER ALERT)

(THIS BLOG CONTAINS SPOILERS ABOUT THE MOVIE "SEVEN POUNDS")

What's happened to Will Smith? He used to be a good actor, then he pulled a Hancock, and it's all been downhill; I had a feeling his newest movie would be doomed when I saw the previews for his newest movie "Seven Pounds"; it just seemed to have a plot that they were hiding the details to because it was so horribly bad...I was right. Apparently, Will Smith has decided to be the M. Night Shyamalan of acting, and now only does movies that have bizarre twist.

Instead of paying ten bucks to see a bizarre twist, I decided to just read it for free, so I scurried the Web for spoilers. The best I found was at New York Magazine. If you are like me, and don't want to pay ten bucks to see a bad movie only to find out the a bizarre twist, then I'll make it simple for you by saying it here. So turn away if you don't want to know, and don't complain because I spoiled the movie....ready? Will Smith plays a man who is using his Blackberry while driving and crashes his car killing seven people (including his fiance); he decides he is going to kill himself in a bathtub with a deadly jellyfish (yes, you read that right--a jellyfish!). So here's the twist...to redeem his life, he is donating body parts to seven different people. Basically the movie is about him making sure those seven people are deserving, because he can only give it to good people.

I'm not sure at what point he "Pulls a Hancock" but I'm sure it's in there somewhere. If you find that scene, then comment here.

Did Indiana Jones Pull Out the Hancock?

You’ll recall earlier that I made a reference to “Pulling a Hancock” (which is the point when a good movie becomes bad…sort of like “Jump the Shark” when a good TV show becomes bad); someone commented that it was actually called “Nuke the Fridge” (a reference to when the latest Indiana Jones movie went from good to bad).

I was eager to see it for two reasons: one, because I enjoyed the first three movies, and two, I wanted to see if indeed did “Nuke the Fridge.” I finally had a chance to see it, and am ready to give my thoughts.

First things first, Indiana was bad, but nowhere near as bad as Hancock. It’s bad. At one point Shai LaBeouf was literally swinging through trees on vines; and the aliens in the plot had potential, but it just never carried through. The whole movie was full of bad clichés and even worse jokes. But let me stress—it’s not as bad as Hancock. Nor is that Nuke the Fridge scene where a good movie becomes bad—the movie is consistently bad.

Despite the silliness at times of the movie, I could actually see LaBeouf going on to make a whole spin-off of Indiana films, which, I’m sure, is exactly what Lucas and company is planning on.

Unlike Hancock, which outright angered me, I was perfectly fine with the cheesiness of Indiana; it’s a summer action flick—I want to enter the theater and be entertained, not enlightened. It had good action sequences, so I can’t complain that it didn’t do what I thought it should have. It just had an overall lameness that made it hard to come even close to the original movies, but it at least kept me entertained.

So I’m sticking with “Pulling a Hancock” on this one.

Hancock

Today, I will say what many people have said already: Hancock is a bad movie. But I’ll go above what some critics said, and say not only is it a bad movie, but it is hands down one of the worst movies ever made.

I was excited when I heard about the movie—Will Smith as an alcoholic superhero! How could you go wrong with that? The synopsis of the movie tells you everything that’s going to happen: PR guy helps superhero finds himself and become a better person. Predictable, yes; but predictability isn’t always a bad thing. It’s summer, it’s hot, and a nice predictable action movie isn’t such a bad way to escape the sun.

When I saw the bad reviews, I didn’t really care. I wasn’t racing to the theater or anything, but I knew I’d see it eventually. Eventually came this past weekend (yes, I'm a little late to the game, as the movie is a couple months old), and all I want is my two hours back.

The movie was pretty good the first half. Then it "Jumped the Shark;" usually that’s a term that’s reserved for TV shows. I think an exception needs to be made for this movie.

The moment it turned from good to just plain dumb was when Hancock attempted to kiss Jason Bateman’s wife; those who have seen the movie will know why. After this point the movie loses all predictability and is just weird—really, really weird. What was the writer thinking? It was like he said, "I don't want predictable--people like twist." Yes, people like twist; Batman had a nice twist, but it was a natural one; this one was forced down the throats of the audience, and it didn't even make sense.

What should have happened was this: Hancock is a drunk, PR guy is going to help him, Hancock is helped, Hancock has a crisis that makes him doubt everything (perhaps his love interest is kidnapped because of some error he makes), and something happens to make him resolve this crisis, all is well again. Predictable, but fun. There’s nothing wrong with that.

There have been Will Smith movies that have been just OK (pretty much every drama he does), but usually they are good (pretty much every action movie he does)--not super, but good enough to make me happy. This is the first time I ever left one of his movies angry. I think he needs to stop hanging out with Tom Cruise, or his career will be ruined. His next movie, Seven Pounds, sounds lame as well.

Maybe it's time for him to team up with Alfonso Ribeiro for a buddy-cop movie or a Fresh Prince reunion show where Will decides to run for C0ngress, and Carlton somehow gets addicted to heroin and Will has to put politics aside?